“The margins are so small”

If you trash your team when they lose, Gilbert Enoka has a message for you.

Legendary mental skills coach Gilbert Enoka has been through plenty of ups and downs with the All Blacks — and he’s gained some wise insight.

“In 2007 we lost to France in the quarter-final. Our nation wasn't really prepared for it 'cause everyone got their identity from how the All Blacks went. The All Blacks went well and we felt good. We felt big on the world stage.”

For Enoka, challenges force him to grow.

“What seasoned me over the years really has been the wins and the losses. The fighting for the credibility of my area as a respected discipline, the maulings in the media.”

Those maulings may have made him stronger — but that doesn’t mean they’re good for the soul.

“I really wish, and I don't talk about the media too much, but I mean, I just wish they'd understand that they're families, at the end of all their stories. That they're people and they're human beings. And I just wish they'd hold themselves to a higher standard. And if they could do those two things, I think they'd make a huge difference to how people experience this life and this arena that is sport.”

But All Blacks do face an extraordinary level of public scrutiny. So how does Enoka help them cope?

“We've done a lot of work with our people around identity, that rugby's what you do, it's not who you are. Yes, it feels painful and it will hurt. How much are you prepared to give to achieve it? Everything. But in the end, you can be a father and you can be a partner and a son and a mate.

And feeding all those identities becomes really, really important.”

That ability to separate your self-worth from your results is essential.

“Your results will go up and down like this, but who you are remains consistent. So getting that central core really, really strong.”

The difference between winning and losing can be so negligible — but public reaction can swing wildly.

“In 2011 we won the Rugby World Cup final against France 8-7. One point. We had a parade where we had thousands and thousands of people flocking onto the streets and going crazy, and the nation and the world just went ballistic. And in 2023, we lost the Rugby World Cup final by one point 12-11. And no one said a word.”

For Enoka, that knife edge is why they do it.

“The margins are so small between fame and fortune and despair and all those. But we wouldn't have it any other way.”